A Story in finding FREEDOM in FEEDBACK.
Alex was at a breaking point. His frustration was palpable, and tears streamed down his face,
"I can't break these patterns." he confessed . His emotions were raw and real, a testament to the struggle he'd been facing for months.
Several months had earlier Alex had asked a few key people for feedback to tell him what to ‘STOP’ doing. It had come from a genuine desire to improve as a leader through some awareness of self.
Yet when Alex invited feedback, he neglected to consider the residual impact compounding criticism could have on his self-confidence.
The constant focus on his flaws and weaknesses left him feeling like he was failing and not good enough. Over the months he had become demoralized, fearful and then indecisive. He was trying to STOP certain behavior so hard, he had lost himself and his confidence in the process.
He urgently needed encouragement of who he was and could step towards being.
With some coaching Alex quickly remember that he was unique and had value. That if he started to plant the right roots he would see good fruits.
This realization was a turning point for Alex. He realized he had been so focused on 'STOPPING' negative behaviors that he lost sight the powerful value of 'STARTING' good ones.
Using the positive aspects of his leadership style, and his unique strengths, we shifted his main focus to what he could 'START' doing. Quickly Alex was able to take ownership of his next steps for growth and personal development in a more positive and proactive way.
Today Alex's mandate to his advisors is
"Tell me what we getting right" then,
"tell me what we need to start to get more right."
The result is a ‘forward’ looking & expectant’ attitude, with clear 'next steps' to take. His encouragement cup is overflowing and he no sees any criticism as fuel for next steps & hope.
Alex left that coaching session feeling 'inspired to be something greater', no longer feeling rejected for being inferior. It was such a difference to the person who arrived 45 min earlier. The catalyst was simply recognizing a ‘STOP’ also needs a ‘START’.
Knowing yourself, warts and all, should be liberating - never demoralizing. It becomes demoralizing when hope is lost because the START is missing and the STOP is all your hearing.
Alex's story has become for me a powerful reminder that we all have flaws, yet must never forget the value and importance of focusing on our strengths and what we can START doing to make positive changes.
It's easy to get caught up in trying to fix weaknesses, but if we neglect our strengths, we will lose sight of what makes us unique and valuable.
If you're struggling with making changes in your life, take a step back and think about what you can 'Start' doing to move forward.
If you are managing people - keep in mind that in feedback a 'START' could be more valuable than a 'STOP'. to help them step out of bad habits, behaviors or actions.
If you’re an employee and all your hearing is "STOP" - heed it the criticism, but remember it is not your identity. Don't forget that you can always 'START'. You are unique, a Game changer with something special to offer the world. So let your 'START' be an embrace of your strengths, a focus on what seeds you plant for good roots and next steps towards freedom and fruitful change.
For those who feel lost or need support - don't wait or hesitate to reach out for help. Seeking advice from a trusted friends, family members, coaching or counselor is not shameful but proactive. Start with asking where to 'START'. With the right mindset and support, you can unlock your full potential and become the game changer you were meant to be.
DM me should you want to setup a call.
#360feedback#managementdevelopment#staffengagement#positivepsychology#strengthcoach#feedbackmatters#workplacewellness#WorkplaceCulturematters
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